Beer Note Baffles Anxious Mom

"Deer mom. Thank you for bringgin me to school. Ivin if you have to pul a beer. I like it in 2nd grad. Love Allyn."

I looked at the hand-written note my son had excitedly presented me as he jumped into the car following his second day of school.

It was neatly written on primary manuscript paper, carefully folded, and tucked into a bright red envelope, stamped ALLYN T.

I dropped him off at his after-school program, returned to work and quickly slipped open the envelope.

My mouth dropped open as I read it and re-read it several times.

What in the world could it possibly mean? I certainly don't quickly slam down a "cold one" on my way out the door before taking the boys to school in the morning.

I knew there had to be some little spelling mistake that would easily explain the meaning of the note. Having taught kindergarten, I was usually pretty good at deciphering "phonetic spelling." But this one had me baffled.

Worse yet, I couldn't help but wonder what my son's teacher must have thought as she surveyed his handiwork.

When I picked him up later, I couldn't wait to ask him about the note. In fact, everyone at the office had found the letter quite amusing and were anxious to learn its meaning. (The unibomber couldn't have drawn a more captive audience.)

"Read me the nice note you wrote me," I requested as I handed it to him, not letting on that I didn't "get" its meaning.

"Why?" he asked as if I had asked him to explain something obvious, like how all the mud got on his new white shirt.

"Well, I just like the way it sounds when you read it," I purred.

"Okay," he sighed as he rolled his eyes and pulled the note to his face. "Dear Mom, Thank you for bringing me to school. Even if you have to pull a bear, I like second grade."

I breathed a sigh of relief - of course "beer" was referring to the bears his teacher uses for assertive discipline. For each minor infraction, the teacher "pulls" the student's bear down a notch. Yes, my son would be well-aware of "pulling bears."

Whew! My reputation was exonerated - I only hoped the teacher had him read it out loud to her as well.

"Did you read this nice letter to your teacher, too?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied.

"But it's such a nice letter, why didn't you?" I prodded.

"I couldn't 'cuz she was laughing too hard."

I think I'm going to go pul a beer now.